We happen to know there's one really confused guy out there who thinks women use birth control in their ongoing efforts to be 'sluts', but the truth is many women use birth control to keep their sex lives healthy and active. Here's the thing: I've been on one type or another for over six years at this point, and I've found that sometimes, birth control (or rather, the side effects of some forms of birth control) can negatively affect a relationship. So what's a responsible, sexually active woman to do?
Mood swings, weight gain, decreased sex drive and health warnings: the possible side effects that come along with some types of birth control can take a toll on you and your partner. Some women on hormonal birth control (especially those on the pill) even feel the effects of female sexual dysfunction, which could mean low libido, difficulty with orgasm and vaginal dryness.
But the negative effects don’t stop there. A recent study Gena wrote about last week even found that “participants who used hormonal contraceptives were less attracted to their partners when they first met, and less sexually satisfied during their relationship than were individuals who did not use hormonal birth control.” In Gena’s words: Yikes!
I’ve been on three different types of birth control (after condoms) in my two-and-a-half year relationship with J and am questioning a switch because of the side effects I’ve noticed (which caused the prior BC switches). Mood swings and a lower sex drive have been the two side effects coming back to haunt me with each new pill I try. And, if we’re being honest, there was that entire month of spotting. I was on birth control so I could have sex with my boyfriend, but the pill I was on caused me to spot, which prevented me from having sex. Give me a break! (Oh, and as a Smitten blogger, I kind of HAVE to be having sex, you guys!) Now I’m on NuvaRing. So it’s not actually a pill, but J and I have had some issues with it. I can’t feel it inside me at all, but J certainly can. According to him, sometimes it feels good and adds the perfect amount of friction. But, sometimes, well, there's a little TOO much friction and does not feel so good to Little J.
Sure, there’s that whole avoiding unwanted pregnancy thing but, personally, I don’t know how long I can stand taking birth control that makes me feel less, well, like ME.
And J has noticed, too. “Some of the birth control you were on in the beginning of our relationship made you a complete cranky, crazy person. And there was always a shortage of chocolate (ha). But I know that it screws with your body, so I always dismissed it. And luckily you've had the wisdom to know that it was messing with you and would always apologize. Of course, if nothing works I would concede and wrap it up… but it wouldn't be my preferred option.”
One of my girlfriends experienced similar mood swings on her birth control: "The moods. The moods were NOT good. I was taking things out on the people I loved. I'm on a new pill now and have been for about a year and I'm happy. While I think birth control in general does alter my mood and make me someone I'm not incredibly happy to be, it has its positives AND negatives on a relationship. Obviously the negative would be that it does alter my mood, the positive would be that I am a totally anxious freak of nature and it is nice to have that piece of mind that I will not be on the next episode of Teen Mom (even though I'm 24...awkward)."
It’s not just us, though. Another girlfriend, Amanda, completely stopped taking the pill she was on because she was feeling so miserable. “I felt severely depressed around my periods and rarely ever had any highs. I wasn't my fun-loving, outgoing self—usually off the wall, always high energy and happy. People talk about how crazy hormones are. Throw some birth control into the mix to mess with them and who knows what will happen.” After a long talk with her boyfriend, they decided she would stop taking the pill and he would start buying condoms again. She felt better (normal again!) almost instantly.
The condom route worked for them, but let’s be honest, a lot of guys want to avoid going back to rubbers when they’re in a committed relationship. My friend, Pat, gave me his honest opinion (and I think A LOT of guys would agree with him):
“The idea of going back to using condoms is so uncontrollably frightening, I shutter at the idea of a girlfriend coming off the pill indefinitely. I'm so against using condoms that I'll turn an otherwise casual relationship into a monogamous, committed thing (if even only for three dates) JUST so that I don't have to wrap it up. And a girlfriend gaining a couple extra pounds is becoming more and more enticing to me as I get older, so that's a plus. All that being said, my first priority as a boyfriend (especially with the ones I've cared about) is the well being of my partner, and so it's about her first. In a perfect world, we've tried and tried to find the right pill for her. Not something that's tolerable, but something that's right for her. Knock on wood, every girlfriend I've had has EVENTUALLY found the right pill.”
It’s a trial and error thing for many couples. I mean, condoms are a last resort for J and me, so back to the doctor I go on my search for the right birth control (hormone-free, perhaps). Maybe I should start looking for Magic Pill #4 so J can say sayonara to crazypants girlfriend and I can just feel like myself again.
Does your birth control negatively affect your relationship? How have you and your boyfriend handled it? Would he go back to using condoms for the sake of your relationship - or are you on the ongoing search for the perfect pill?
Read More http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/04/is-your-birth-control-negative.html#ixzz1rLkWR7ok
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