Ask a Guy: How Much "Sex Instruction" From a Lady is Off-Putting?

In the name of research, I asked five guys how much of the old mid-coital "a little lower... no, higher... OK, now sing Trey Songz to it..." instructional dialogue was too much.

Boy 1:
I don't find it off-putting at all, so long as there's an open dialogue between us in the bedroom. Want me to lick you in a certain way? No problem. I'm here to make you happy. But don't be insulted if I ask you to make an adjustment with me. Just because the cliché says that girls are complicated and guys are simple doesn't mean you should be insulted at the first hint of direction from me. But if it's an open, two-way street, then all is fair.

Boy 2:
Like "lessons" or like "bang me this way"? I think instructions on what to do are necessary and welcome. People have their preferences. I guess when you break out the diagrams, that's too much, but reciprocity and openness are generally good things. Instruction is welcome, but when it's a presentation, that's annoying.

Boy 3:
I like it if there are more Dos than Don'ts.

Boy 4:
It's a delicate psychological dance whenever you're dealing with a guy's sex abilities. But you basically want to avoid saying "don't do that" obviously, and instead frame everything in positive terms, terms of how good x or y will make you feel, because although some guys' egos are easily bruised, that's nothing compared to how wildly, monstrously, dictatorially inflated their egos get when they make you come. Which is why the idea that men are stereotypically selfish in bed strikes me as weird, because most of us (I think) are only selfish in the sense that we want to feel like King D**k when we get you off.

Oh, and really quickly, the other thing that's good about instruction? If a girl is telling you what gets her off it means SHE KNOWS WHAT GETS HER OFF, which is a godsend. She's thought about this. She's comfortable with it. She knows her way around her own body. Being with a girl who has clearly never masturbated and/or can't talk coherently about what feels good/what doesn't makes you feel like you're lost at sea.

Boy 5:
Hmm. Constantly talking doesn't help. Like, if you're trying to do something, and they say, you know... "Go to the left, or right or back up..." That's fine, but if it's like readjusting a level on a wall, you don't want to have anything to do with it because then your head starts to wander, and you wonder if you're not "doing it right," or doing it well.

Me: Wait. What do you mean? Like literally if you're up against a wall?

No, I meant how when you measure something, and you need it to be level, and you're doing constant adjustment

Me: Oh. Haha.

Yeah. Like, we're having sex, not hanging a painting.